Closure
by visiblestar
Summary: The war is over and Harry tries to find a place where he belongs, a place where he can find some peace and begin the life that he has put on hold. Will he finally discover the feelings he has for his best friend as she helps him heal?
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Closure

**Summary:** The war is over and Harry tries to find a place where he belongs, a place where he can find some peace and begin the life that he has put on hold. Now that he can see clearly at last will he finally discover the feelings he has for his best friend as she helps him heal?

**Author's note:** This story takes place as Deathly Hallows ends (not after the epilogue because that doesn't exist in my book anymore) This is the first full length story of any kind I've ever written. I have the whole story written so updates should come quickly.

**A BIG thank you to bentheslayer for the beta. Any mistakes left are mine. Go check out his stories, he`s an AMAZING writer!**

**Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.**

…………………

There are two kinds of secrets, those we keep from others and the ones we hide from ourselves.

………………

_He turned away from the painted portraits thinking only of the four poster bed lying waiting for him in Gryffindor Tower, and wondering whether Kreacher might bring him a sandwich there._

_Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Chapter 36_

**Chapter 1**

An eerie calm had descended over the corridors of Hogwarts as Harry Potter made his way to Gryffindor Tower. The atmosphere was still thick with dust from the holes that had been blown in the stone walls of the ancient castle. The dead and wounded had been rounded up and now lay in the Great Hall waiting to be moved to St Mungos.

Harry had begrudgingly been checked over by Madam Pomfrey after Hermione had caught sight of him trying to move through the crowd unnoticed. Unnoticed by everyone but her. Hermione had always had the knack of sensing his presence in a room no matter how invisible he tried to make himself. She had approached him seemingly out of nowhere and enveloped him in a tight hug that was so different from the rest of the hugs he had received that day: she had drawn back and looked at him with a look that Harry couldn't remember seeing on her face before, a look that he couldn't quite place, before running her hands gently over his bruised face, looking him over from head to toe, piercing him with her cinnamon eyes as if trying to reassure herself that he was okay, that he wasn't seriously hurt, that he was alive. She had taken hold of his hand then and, with a gentle yet firm tug, had pulled him in the direction of Madam Pomfrey, who on catching sight of the two Gryffindors had ushered them both into a quiet room off the Great hall.

So now as Harry made his way wearily to Gryffindor Tower through the deserted, dusty corridors, his thoughts where focused upon the events of the day. He kept seeing flashes of the people who had lost their lives in the battle… people he cared about, people who had been like family to him, people he would never be able to see or talk to again. His heart ached; he wondered how an emotional pain could hurt so physically. He felt like he couldn't breathe. There was so much evil in the world and he had gotten rid of a big part of it that day, but it had cost him and the people around him so much.

Harry reached the boys dormitory and threw himself onto his bed, grimacing slightly from the pain in his ribs that still needed time to heal. He looked over sadly at the chair beside his bed that had been Hedwig`s favourite place to perch. He missed her so much; he hadn't had time to grieve for her loss. He had felt her death as much as the others but had had to push her loss out of his mind to be able to make it through the last year. Hedwig had always been there for him at times when he felt like he was alone in the world and had endured the hell that was Privet Drive with him every summer. She had been more to him than just a pet… she had been a good friend.

Harry reached up and wiped the tears from his face that he hadn't realised had been falling. He was exhausted emotionally and physically. His stomach gave a loud growl, he couldn't remember the last time he had eaten. Just as he thought this, he heard a creak from his door and looked up to see Hermione standing there looking a little uncomfortable.

"Hi," he said, a slight smile crossing his lips. "You coming in or what?"

Hermione`s face broke into a smile at his words and she entered the room and walked over to where Harry lay on the bed.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted to be alone of not," she said, sitting down on the end of his bed and tucking her legs below her.

"I'm not quite sure what I want at the minute," Harry replied quietly.

"Well for a start you need some food and some sleep," Hermione stated, looking more sure of herself now.

She reached into her pocket pulling something out that looked like a match box along with her wand. "_Engorgio_," she said, pointing her wand at the box.

Reaching inside the now enlarged box she pulled out a huge pile of sandwiches, some fruit, chocolate cake and two bottles of pumpkin juice.

"I hope you don't mind if I join you," she said, handing Harry one of the bottles. "I can't remember the last time I ate anything and I'm sure you're the same."

Harry sat up and took the bottle from her, his fingers touched hers and he felt the now familiar jolt of electricity shoot up his arm. He had noticed that when this happened Hermione seemed to feel it too. They locked eyes before they both looked away quickly, Harry muttered a quick thank you as Hermione started to unwrap the sandwiches.

They ate in relative silence, both deep in thought. Every once in a while Harry felt Hermione`s eyes on him but every time he would look up she looked away. He looked at her again, taking in her appearance: she had been through just as much as him. Madam Pomfrey had healed the multiple cuts and bruises she had sustained in the battle that day, but only after much insistence on her part that he had been taken care of first. It turned out that she had just as many injuries as Harry. He could still see faint marks on her face and neck, and she had a bandage on her hand from where a curse had hit her that couldn't be healed instantly by Madam Pomfrey. Sitting there, looking at her, his stomach gave a sudden lurch. He could have lost her. He had nearly lost her a few years ago when she had gone with him to the Ministry of Magic and the thought of nearly losing her again was too much. His stomach gave another unpleasant lurch as an image of her lying unmoving on the floor of the Ministry flashed through his head. Suddenly not feeling hungry anymore, he put down his half eaten sandwich.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Harry muttered.

"Don't give me that Harry Potter, I know when there's something wrong. Is it Ginny?" she asked quietly.

"No, it's not Ginny," he replied, suddenly realising that he hadn't thought about Ginny since the battle ended. "I… have you seen her?" he asked, not looking at Hermione.

"She's gone home to the Burrow with Ron and her parents and…" she stopped talking and Harry looked up to see her head bowed and her shoulders gently shaking.

"Hermione?" he asked, moving closer to her. He put a finger under her chin and lifted her head. Tears where slowing making their way down her pretty freckled face.

"Ron said… they're taking the bod… Fred… home with them," she said, the last few words coming out in a sob.

Harry let go of her chin and moved closer, wrapping his arms around her tightly as she buried her face in his neck. Hugging Hermione used to be so awkward; he had never experienced physical comfort before he had met her. He had nearly jumped out of his skin the first time she had hugged him, physical contact for him had always been associated with pain. But over the years he had grown comfortable with it, her touching and hugging had been what had kept him going at times. She put so much gentleness and warmth and comfort into the contact she had showed him and Harry was relieved at times like this that he could return comfortably what he hoped was the comfort she had shown him.

"It's all my fault," Harry said quietly as Hermione`s sobs started to ease.

"Oh Harry you're wrong, it's not your fault. None of this is your fault and no one blames you," she told him, drawing out of his embrace.

"How can you say that! Voldemort was after _me_, all those people died because of _me_," he said, wiping angrily at the tears that where now falling from his eyes.

"Harry, you did the right thing. Even though people died, it was the right thing to do. Look at me," she said as she reached for his hand, linking her fingers with his. He raised his head and she reached out, unable to resist the urge to wipe away his tears. "You were prepared to face your responsibilities and do what you had to do, knowing that there would be consequences. People died Harry, but so many more would have lost their lives if you hadn't acted when you did! You were the only person who could end this war, and you put an end to it before it put an end to us! Voldemort was getting stronger by the day and he needed to be stopped, you stopped him, you saved us Harry." Tears once again flowing freely down her face.

"I know… I had no choice… it just…it hurts so much," he said, letting out a loud sob. Hermione let go of his hand and pulled him to her. They held each other tightly as they cried. Cried for the people they had lost, the families that had been torn apart, the fact that the world as they knew it had now changed, that it was all over, that they had won. The threat of Voldemort that had been hanging over the world for so long was finally gone.

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	2. Chapter 2

**A BIG thank you to bentheslayer for the beta. Any mistakes left are mine. Go check out his stories, he`s an AMAZING writer!**

**Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.**

…………………

**Chapter 2**

The morning sun felt warm on Harry`s face as it streamed through the window of the boys dormitory. He felt so content lying there, so comfortable, so safe. In a sleepy haze he slowly opened his eyes, trying to remember for a second where he was. Seeing the familiar hangings of his four poster bed coming into focus, he smiled, and yawned and tried to stretch. It was then that he noticed there was something wrong- he couldn't move. Something was pressing down on his right arm and chest. Looking down, he saw a head of chestnut curls and the sleeping form of his best friend. Thoughts of the night before rushed into his head: he and Hermione had held each other and cried until they could cry no more, letting out all the anger and hurt and frustration that had pent up during the war. They had held each other, comforting each other until the last tear fell. Exhaustion had overcome them both, and they had fallen asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

Harry looked down at the small body wrapped around his. Her head on his chest, breathing calmly and evenly in sleep. Her arm draped across his chest, his arm wrapped around her, their legs tangled together where they lay. Harry sighed, why did this feel so right, so comfortable? Shouldn't he be freaked out waking up to find his best friend on his bed wrapped around him? His heart started to pound as Hermione stirred- would she be the one that freaked out when she realised where she'd slept?

Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she gave a little stretch before freezing. In what felt to Harry like slow motion, Hermione moved her head until brown eyes met green.

"Morning," Harry said, with an unsure smile.

"Morning," she answered quietly. Then, as if realising that she was still wrapped around her best friend, she suddenly sat up, a slight blush crossing her cheeks. Harry missed her warmth immediately. "I guess we fell asleep?"

"Yeah looks that way," Harry replied, trying to resist the sudden urge to pull her back into his now empty arms, as he watched her trying to flatten down her hair.

"What time is it?" she asked him, stretching properly this time and getting up from the bed. Harry sat up and blinked at his watch.

"Wow it's 1.30pm, we've slept a long time."

"Best sleep I've had in ages," Hermione said without thinking, and then blushed again as her eyes met his. "I better go."

Harry watched as she picked up her shoes from the floor unable to think of anything to say and then she surprised him when she turned back, leaned down and kissed him on the forehead, right on his scar. Before smiling and exiting the room, leaving a confused but happy Harry in her wake.

………………

Harry stepped into the shower, letting the warm water soothe his aching muscles. So much had happened in the past few days but now he had the feeling of a great burden having been lifted off his shoulders. He felt oddly light. All his life he had had something to worry about. The Dursleys had abused him and kept him in a cupboard and he had come to Hogwarts thinking he was getting away from all that, only to find that he was famous, his parents hadn't died in a car crash but had been murdered and he had a dark wizard trying to kill him at every turn. This was the first day that he had woken up in what felt like forever without a threat hanging over him. Last night with Hermione he had let go completely, something he had never done before, never dared to do before. He had let out all the hurt and anger and resentment and guilt that had plagued every moment of his life for the past seventeen years. Hermione had held him and cried with him, and he had taken comfort in knowing that not only was she crying with him but also for him. Hermione had always been there when he needed her, and even at times when he had thought he didn't. She knew him better than anyone, always stuck by him, even at times when she could have easily sided with Ron and left him. She was loyal and brave and had saved his life so many times. He was more grateful to her than she would ever know.

Washing the last of the soap from his hair, Harry turned off the shower and started to dry himself. What would he do today, where would he go? There was no more Voldemort or Horcruxes to occupy his time, he was free to go and do whatever he wanted. He would probably have to meet with the Order members at some point, the ones that were left anyway he thought sadly. Maybe he should go and see Ron and the other Weasleys. Ginny… he hadn't even thought about her first. What did that mean? He felt different… his world had changed so much this past year, and being without Ginny hadn't affected him the way he had thought it would. Sure at times on the Horcrux hunt his thoughts had drifted to the fun times they had had, but on seeing her again he hadn't felt that same spark, that same excitement. Things had changed- he had changed.

Pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, his thoughts turned once more to Hermione; he wondered where she was right now. Would she be leaving Hogwarts today, leaving him? His stomach gave a lurch at this thought. Pulling on his trainers he decided to go look for her.

He made his way down the stairs and into the Gryffindor common room at the exact moment Hermione reached the bottom of the stairs from the girls dorm.

"Hey," Harry said in surprise, "I was just coming to look for you."

A smile broke out on Hermione`s face "I was just coming to look for you too. Want to go get some breakfast? Or I suppose I should say lunch now."

"Sure," Harry said replied making his way to the portrait hole and holding the door open for her.

……………………

Out in the corridor the reality of the great fight that had taken place in the ancient castle the day before came flooding back to him. The dust had now settled, but there was devastation everywhere he looked: holes blown in walls, pictures shattered, statues lay in crumpled heaps of stone, and the smell… Harry had never smelt anything like it before. Fire, dust, magic, blood… he felt sick to his stomach. The lump that had formed in his throat tightened as he thought once more about the people who had lost their lives. He felt a small hand grasp his, fingers linked, giving a reassuring squeeze.

"It's okay Harry, everything's okay," she said, her voice no louder than a whisper. She gave his hand a tug and Harry let her lead him through the broken castle out into the grounds.

"Harry, are you okay?" he heard Hermione`s voice say, distant and unclear at first. He felt something cold touch his face and focused in on Hermione`s tear filled eyes.

"Yeah, sorry," he sighed, reaching up to cover the small hand that cupped his cheek. "I… I felt so free this morning and… and seeing the castle in that state just brought it all rushing back."

"It'll take time Harry. You're a free man now, there's no threat hanging over you for the first time in your life but it'll take time to heal. One day soon you'll be able to remember without as much pain, and not as fiercely as you do now. The world is a terrible place, not only because of those who do evil but because of those who look on and do nothing. You rid the world of a big part of that evil yesterday Harry, you stood up and did something. I'm so proud of you," she finished, a few tears escaping from her eyes.

Harry pulled Hermione to him and buried his face in her neck, breathing in the comforting scent of her hair. He didn't know how he was ever going to repay her for everything she had done, and continued to do for him. She was his strength. Suddenly remembering the reason he had gone to look for her in the first place he pulled back.

"Hermione, what are you going to do now… now it's all over? Are you going home… going to see Ron?" He held his breath waiting for her reply.

"I have to find my parents. I need to see them, I need to find them and restore their memories and bring them home," she replied, still a little tearfully. Then added. "As for Ron… he's okay, Luna is taking care of him."

"Luna? But I though…"

"No," she interrupted shaking her head. "That was a… a slight moment of madness," she said, a smile now playing on her lips.

Harry felt an odd sense of relief come over him. Hermione and Ron weren't together. Not only that, but she didn't look bothered by it.

"Why don't we have lunch out here?" Hermione suggested, bringing Harry out of his thoughts.

"Sounds good. I'll call Kreacher and see if he'll bring us some food," Harry replied, looking back at the great castle and thinking how undamaged it looked from where they stood.

………………………

After eating lunch under a large oak tree by the lake, Harry lay back on the soft blanket that Kreacher had conjured. Hermione cleared away the remains of the lunch with a flick of her wand and then lay down next to him. They lay side by side watching the clouds go by for some time before Hermione broke the silence.

"What are you going to do now?"

"Well, I thought I'd lay here for a while and then…"

"No, I don't mean right now. I mean now that the war is over, do you have any plans?" she asked.

"I honestly don't know. The threat of Voldemort has been hanging over my head for so long that I never really thought about what I would do when it was all over. I didn't… well, I wasn't sure I'd still be around," he finished not daring to look at her. When she didn't reply he looked down to where she lay beside him and saw her biting her lip, twirling one of her chestnut curls between her fingers, her brow furrowed.

"Hermione?"

"I… I was so scared. I couldn't even bear to think about you not being around. I… I don't know what I would have done if you… hadn't made it," she said, the last few words coming out in a strangled whisper.

Harry rolled over onto his side, wrapping an arm around Hermione`s waist and laying his head in the crook of her neck, once more breathing in her comforting scent. She turned towards him slightly, reaching up to run her fingers through his unruly head of hair, as his grip on her tightened. Harry once again wondered when this had become so comfortable, snuggling up beside his best friend gave him such a sense of peace and calm, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

He lay there contently, enjoying the comfort that her touch brought as he listened to the sound of the wind blowing through the ancient trees that surrounded the lake, his thoughts drifting back to Hermione`s question. What would he do now? Where would he go? Grimmauld Place would be the obvious choice, he thought. Mrs Weasley had said that he would always have a bed at the Burrow, but he couldn't go there, not now. His heart gave an ache at the thought of the Weasleys- they had been through so much. No, he couldn't go there, not after everything that had happened. Godrics Hollow? Perhaps he could look into rebuilding his childhood home, but that too felt wrong. His parents had died in that house and peace would be hard to come by there. Grimmauld Place it is then he thought, letting out a sigh at the prospect of returning to the house his godfather had left him. Not wanting to risk Hermione pulling away from their embrace he decided to talk to her later about his decision. Snuggling closer into her warmth he focused on the sound of her steady breathing, his eyes becoming heavy, and he slowly drifted off to sleep.

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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: The nightmares in this story are all taken from chapter 23 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. They belong to JK Rowling, no copyright infringement is intended.**

**A BIG thank you to bentheslayer for the beta. Any mistakes left are mine. **

**Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.**

…………………

**Chapter 3**

In the Gryffindor common room that night Harry and Hermione sat by the fire, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. Hermione sat on her favourite chair looking through a book of maps, stopping every once in a while to write something down in her notebook. Harry sat on the floor at her feet going through a huge pile of parchment. He had decided that he would go to Grimmauld Place that following morning, as Hermione planned on leaving then too. She had declined his offer of accompanying her to find her parents, claiming that it was something she needed to do on her own, but she had promised him that if she got into any difficulties that she would contact him immediately. Earlier that evening they had had dinner with Hagrid and Professor McGonagall, who had told them of their plans to stay at Hogwarts and supervise the clean up and repairs. The four of them where the only human life left in the castle at present and Harry and Hermione had informed them of their plans to leave that following morning.

Harry sighed tiredly, sat up straight and stretched. Reaching up slowly he took of his glasses and rubbed his tired stinging eyes. Letting out a yawn he put his glasses back on and brought his hand up to rub at a knot in his neck.

"You should go to bed," Hermione said, breaking the silence as she put down her book. Harry felt her small hands replace his. Her touch took him by surprise, and sent a shiver through his body.

"You cold?" she asked with concern evident in her voice.

"No, I'm fine… just sleepy," he replied, his voice sounding strained.

He bit his lip trying to quell the moan that was threatening to escape. Hermione`s hands had moved to his shoulders, and he felt himself slowly start to relax. He leaned back, resting against Hermione`s legs that were tucked under her on her chair, as she slowly and meticulously worked on the tense muscles in his shoulders. Harry closed his eyes as her hands moved once more, this time into his unruly raven hair. He subconsciously lay his head back, resting it on her lap as her fingers moved up and brushed the fringe from his forehead. A heavy sigh fell from his lips as she traced the scar that Voldemort had marked him with all those years ago, the mark that had brought him so much pain.

He opened his eyes when her touch suddenly disappeared. He lifted his head and turned around to see Hermione looking down at her now empty lap.

"Hermione what's wrong?" he asked, worried that he'd done something to upset her.

"I'm sorry Harry…" she said, sounding tearful. "I didn't mean to touch your scar. I know you hate people looking at it and drawing attention to it. I'm sorry for touching it like that." A few tears escaped from her eyes.

"Hermione I… I like it when you do that."

"You do?" she asked in surprise.

"I don't like people touching and staring at my scar because they think I'm a freak, but I like it when you do it," he said shyly.

He tentatively reached over to where her hand lay in her lap, and taking it in his he brought it up to his forehead. Their eyes met and she smiled shyly before gently tracing her fingers over the scar again. Harry reached up and wiped the tears that had fallen down her pretty freckled face with his thumb before pulling her into a hug.

"I guess we should get some sleep, we have a lot to do tomorrow," he said, reluctantly pulling out of their embrace and glancing at his watch. "It's after midnight."

"Sounds like a good idea," Hermione replied tiredly.

They both gathered their things together before wishing one another goodnight and with a final look and smile at each other they disappeared up their respective staircases.

***

_Another terrible scream -_

_Hermione!_

_"What else did you take? What else have you got? Tell me the truth or I'll run you through with this knife!_

_Hermione was screaming: the sound went through him like a physical pain. He couldn't get to her; he couldn't get out of the cellar. Hermione screamed again._

_"NO!" he called out, desperately trying to reach her, but he was thrown back by a spell and his scar began to throb savagely. "HERMIONE!"_

Harry felt something cool touch his face, he felt two hands on his shoulders shaking him, a voice distant and unclear…

"Harry, wake up… listen to me Harry, you're having a nightmare, come on, wake up!"

His green eyes finally opened as he gasped for air. Breathing heavily he reached out and pulled Hermione towards him and held her in a vice like grip.

"It's okay Harry, I'm here, it's okay," she reassured him as she ran her fingers soothingly through his damp hair, rubbing his back as she hushed him, reassuring him that he was okay, that he was safe.

As Harry`s breathing slowed he pulled back and looked into Hermione`s worried brown eyes. "You're okay?" he asked as he reached out and cupped her face.

"I'm okay Harry, you just had a nightmare. It was all just a dream." Her voice was shaking a little.

"That's just it," Harry said, his voice hoarse as he let go of her face and started to play with a loose thread on his blanket. "It wasn't just a dream, it really happened… you could have died."

"Your nightmare was about me?" she asked, surprised.

"I've been having the same nightmare since that night at Malfoy Manor. I couldn't get to you, I was trapped… your screams…" he started to breath heavily again. "It's all my fault."

"It's wasn't your fault Harry, I'm okay. I chose to go with you, you didn't force me to go and I'd do it all again in a heartbeat," she said, her bottom lip trembling.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," he replied taking hold of her hand. "You're always there when I need you."

"That's what friends are for," Hermione whispered, giving his hand a squeeze.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts, Hermione rubbing soothing circles on the back of Harry`s hand with her thumb.

"Will you… stay here with me for a while?" he asked breaking the silence, holding his breath in case she said no.

"Of course I will," she said, smiling at the uncertainty in his voice.

She let go of his hand and walked around to the other side of his bed and, pulling back the covers, got in and lay down. Harry, who had expected her to just want to sit on his bed for a while until he fell asleep, froze. Hermione was in his bed. Hermione wearing nothing but her pyjamas was in his bed. Last night when they had slept in the same bed they had been on top of the blankets and had been fully clothed. His thoughts were broken when he heard a giggle.

"I don't bite you know," Hermione said half laughing as Harry turned to look at her.

"I… I know you don't," he told her, a smile now playing on his lips too. "It's just… my best friend is lying in my bed in her pyjamas."

"Just be thankful it's not your other best friend," she said, laughing out loud now at the look on Harry`s face.

"You're horrible," he said, laughing now too as he lay down beside her on his back. Hermione turned on her side to face him.

"You feeling a bit better?"

"Yeah, it's been an emotional few days. I'm sorry I've been such a mess," he said, turning his head to look at her.

"Don't be silly Harry, you've been through so much and I'm glad that you're finally able to start letting go of all those emotions you've bottled up for so long… and that you're letting me be the one to share in that," she added quietly.

"I couldn't do it with anyone else… I hope you know that," he said looking away from her again.

She reached out and took the hand that lay across his chest, linking her fingers with his.

He wanted to turn around and hold her in his arms, but she was his friend, his best friend. He'd already come close to crossing the "what was appropriate for friends" line the past few days. He didn't even understand where these feelings had come from, or if Hermione even had any similar feelings for him. As he lay listening to the sound of her steady breathing, his eyes became heavy, and he slowly drifted back to sleep.

..............


	4. Chapter 4

**A BIG thank you to bentheslayer for the beta. Any mistakes left are mine.**

**Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.**

…………………

**Chapter 4**

Harry woke the next morning feeling warm and comfortable and well rested. He opened his eyes to find that during the night Hermione had shifted her position in the cramped single bed so that her head now rested on his chest and her body was pressed against his. He still lay in the same position on his back and was surprised to see that his fingers where still linked with hers. He realised with some surprise too that after he had gone back to sleep he hadn't had a single nightmare, something that had only happened once before and that was last night when Hermione had also slept in his bed.

He felt her start to stir and watched as her eyes fluttered open and closed a few times before she yawned and stretched her body, arching up against him. Harry bit his lip as he tried to think of anything but the female body pressed against his.

"Morning," she said, looking up and seeing that he was awake too. "Is it time to get up yet?"

"Yeah… we should probably get up," he smiled down at her, not really wanting to go anywhere.

"No more nightmares?"

"No, not a single one. I slept like a baby," he replied happily.

"I'm glad," she said, smiling now too as she untangled herself from Harry and sat up.

"We've got a busy day ahead of us," he told her, sitting up and reaching up to flatten his unruly head of hair.

"Yeah, I'm hoping that my journey will be an easy one today," she replied quietly.

"My offer still stands," he said as she pulled back the blankets and got out of bed.

"I know," Hermione said warmly. "It's just something I need to do by myself."

"I understand," Harry replied as she walked around the bed and made her way to the door.

"I'll see you in the common room in about an hour?"

"Okay," he said, as she smiled at him and left the room.

………………

After showering Harry reached the common room first. He made his way over to one of the old battered chairs by the fire and sat down heavily. It was going to be a difficult day; he was leaving the one place that felt like home to go to Grimmauld Place, somewhere that held so many memories for him, most of them bad. And then there was Hermione, he didn't know how he felt about being parted from her. Every time he thought about it he felt sick, how was he going to cope without her? She had been his strength and his comfort the past few days and now that support was going. Would she come back and see him after she retrieved her parents, or would she want to stay and spend time with them? He knew he was being selfish and had no right to expect Hermione to give up time with her parents for him, especially after all the summers and Christmases he had taken the Granger's daughter away from them, but he needed her.

Suddenly a banging noise coming from one of the windows broke through his thoughts. He got up and made his way to the large leaded window at the bottom of the girl's dormitory stairs and found a small grey owl trying repeatedly to fly through the closed window. Rolling his eyes he opened the window and Pigwidgeon flew into the room and proceeded to zoom excitedly round and round Harry's head. Using his seeker reflexes he reached up and snatched the tiny owl out of the air and detached the letter from his leg. He released the little owl and watched him fly through the open window and disappear, before going back to his seat and unfolding the letter.

_Hey Harry,_

_Thanks for your letter. You know I don't blame you for anything that's happened. I know you feel bad but you really shouldn't. You killed You Know Who and that's all that matters. Yes things are hard here at the minute but Fred died fighting and that's the way he would have wanted to go. Mum keeps going on about how you're a hero and she's taking comfort in that. Luna's staying here with us for a while, she's been keeping me company and helping me through. You were right about her you know, she's less loony than she first appears. Anyway the funeral is going to be in a few days, I'll let you know more when we get it all sorted. Talk soon._

_Ron_

Harry sat staring at the piece of parchment in front of him. Ron didn't blame him. He had been so worried that Ron would see Fred's death as his fault, that he wouldn't want anything more to do with him, that Mrs Weasley would blame him for taking away the life of her son. He sighed with relief as he read over Ron's words again.

"Harry."

He jumped at the sound of Hermione`s voice, he had been so engrossed in Ron's letter and his thoughts that he hadn't heard or seen her approach.

"Hermione, I didn't see you there," Harry said as he looked up at her and saw concern in her eyes. "I was just reading Ron's letter, Pig just brought it."

"Sorry I didn't mean to startle you," Hermione said, sitting down on the arm of Harry's chair.

"I didn't know you'd written to Ron?"

"Yeah, I wrote to him yesterday. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was for all the hurt I'd caused his family," Harry said sadly.

"You haven't caused them any hurt Harry. Voldemort is the reason they're grieving, not you," she told him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm starting to see that now. The past few days you've helped me start to realise that none of this is really my fault, but I just needed to hear it from Ron too. I was so scared that he'd blame me and never want to speak to me again. He's given up on me before… more than once," Harry finished quietly.

"I know," Hermione said sadly, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

"You've never left me," Harry said quietly.

"And I never will. I will always be here for you Harry," she said, smiling down at him.

A warm feeling spread through Harry's body and his heart gave a little jump as he stared up into her warm brown eyes. She was so pretty, the way her hair fell over her face in perfect little ringlets, the smattering of freckles on her cheeks, and her lips… he felt himself drawn to her lips…

_Bang!_

They both jumped up and drew their wands, turning to look in the direction of the noise, only to find the window that Pigwidgeon had flown out of earlier had banged closed in the breeze. They both turned to look at one another and started to laugh.

"I guess we're still a little on edge," Hermione said stowing her wand back inside her jeans pocket.

"Yeah just a little," Harry said still laughing as he too put away his wand.

……………

An hour later they had had breakfast and said their goodbyes to Hagrid and Professor McGonagall. Harry had gathered the last of his things and was once again sitting in the common room waiting on Hermione coming down from the girl's dorm. He felt sick and was finding it very hard to sit still. He had tried to distract himself by sitting by the fire and looking through a few old Quidditch magazines that he had found lying on one of the common room tables, but he just couldn't concentrate. Lots of thoughts were going round and round in his head. Every time he thought about Hermione leaving the knot in his stomach tightened. He tried to think of something else but every time he did he found his thoughts turning to something just as bad. He got up from his chair and made his way over to one of the large leaded windows and looked out over the grounds, resting his forehead against the cool glass. He was really going to miss Hogwarts, it was the only place that had ever felt like home to him and he didn't know if he would ever be back in the common room looking out at the familiar, comforting view again.

He heard the sound of Hermione`s footsteps coming down the stone steps and turned around just as she reached the bottom. He smiled as the sight of her once again made a warm feeling flow through his body.

"Hey," she said as she made her way over to the window to join him. "You ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," he replied, the sick feeling returning to his stomach.

"I'm really going to miss this place," Hermione said, looking out of the window.

"I'm really going to miss you," Harry said quietly.

Hermione`s head flew around to look at him, as he realised that he must have said that out loud and not in his head like he thought he had.

"I'm really going to miss you too Harry," she said as she reached over and took his hand. "I'm not going to be gone long, hopefully only for a few days and then I'll be back."

"You're coming back?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Of course I am, I planned on coming back to Grimmauld Place after I find my parents… that's if you want me too," she added quietly.

"I want you to!" he said, a huge smile spreading across his face. "I just thought you would want to spend some time with your parents."

"I'll spend a day or so with them. They don't even know anything that's been happening, so they won't even have noticed I've been gone. Sure I miss them but they have each other and… and I'd rather spend time with you," she said shyly.

Harry felt warmth spread through his body again at her words. She wanted to spend time with him. She was giving up time with her parents to come and keep him company at Grimmauld Place. The prospect of returning to that dark depressing house was looking brighter. He knew he could face it if she would be there with him too. Impulsively he pulled her towards him and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you," he whispered into her hair as she returned the hug. They stood holding each other tightly, neither wanting to let go.

………………


	5. Chapter 5

**A BIG thank you to bentheslayer for the beta. Any mistakes left are mine.**

**Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.**

…………………

**Chapter 5**

Harry fell out of the fireplace of number twelve Grimmauld Place and landed with a bump on the hard stone floor. Picking himself up, he brushed the soot from his clothes and straightened his glasses. He had never enjoyed travelling by Floo. He looked around the familiar empty kitchen and sighed as flashes of times he'd had with Sirius and the Weasleys played through his mind. He hoped that someday he would be able to remember those times without the pain he now felt in his chest.

The kitchen still shone, making Harry realise that Kreacher must have kept up with the cleaning while he was gone. His heart gave another ache as his thoughts turned to Hermione and what she would have to say about that. She was happier now though with his relationship with the old house elf, and he was going to make sure that he put in an extra effort to treat Kreacher properly. Just as he thought this the house elf came bustling into the kitchen; he was still dressed in the same clean white towel that he had been wearing the last time Harry had seen him, and Regulus's locket still hung around his neck, bouncing of his thin chest as he walked.

"Master Harry, you came back!" Kreacher croaked in surprise, as he made his way over to where Harry stood.

"I did," Harry replied, still wondering to himself if he'd made the right decision.

"Kreacher is pleased that Master Harry has returned," he said with a bow. "Can Kreacher get Master anything?"

"No thanks. I think I'm just going to lie down for a little while. I'll let you know if I need anything," he said as Kreacher gave another bow and backed out of the room.

Harry made his way out of the kitchen and into the dark, damp hallway. He was going to have to do a lot of work to the old run down house if he was going to live in it comfortably, he thought. He would have to make a list of jobs that needed to be done; first on that list would be the removal of the House Elf heads that lined the walls, and then Mrs Black's portrait. He made his way up the creaking stairs and, on reaching the first floor, he decided to pick up a few books from the Black family library before going to his bedroom. He needed to put safety wards back up and sort out the Floo and Apparition wards now that all the old spells had been broken.

Harry crossed the dingy landing and turned the serpent's head doorknob on the library door and entered the gloomy high-ceilinged room. He made his way over to the bookcase by the window where he remembered seeing books on wards a few years ago during one of Mrs Weasley's clean up operations. Finding a few books that looked like they might be helpful, along with a book he came across on wizard decorating, he piled them up and made his way to the bedroom that he had previously shared with Ron. Opening the door of the dark, twin bedded room he sighed heavily as a feeling of loneliness hit him. He looked up at the top of the old wardrobe that sat in the corner of the room where Hedwig and Pigwidgeon used to perch. He felt so alone… he didn't even have Hedwig anymore he realised sadly, he would be sleeping in this room alone for the first time tonight.

Throwing his books onto the floor, he sat down heavily on the bed. Removing his wand and shrunken bag from his pocket, he enlarged the bag and reached inside taking out the photo album that Hagrid had given him at the end of his first year at Hogwarts. Opening it near the back, he stopped at a photograph that he had added himself a few years ago. In the picture it was snowing and Hermione was standing by the frozen lake, her cheeks and nose pink with cold. She was twirling round and round, arms outstretched, a look of innocence and freedom on her face. Colin Creevey had taken that picture of Hermione without her knowing their sixth year and had given it to Harry as a Christmas present that year. He had been under the impression that they were a couple, and was very embarrassed when Harry had put him right on the fact that they were just good friends. It was strange, Harry thought, how many people had made that mistake before. Maybe it was just because they could all see what had been staring him in the face for years. Lately his feelings for her had changed… or had they? Maybe he had always felt that way. She had always been there for him, always taken care of him, always showed him love and affection. She had been the one he would go to when he needed reassurance, needed a hug, or just needed someone to share the thoughts in his head with. She had always been there to listen, to give him what he needed. He smiled at the obvious joy on her face as the snowflakes fell and she continued to twirl. It was so rare to see Hermione looking so carefree. It was mostly his fault, he thought sadly, that she had been so stressed out the past few years. Hopefully now he would be able to make that up to her.

Feeling very tired he propped the photo album up on his beside table, still open at the photograph of Hermione, and lay down. He had been so tired the past few days, all the lost sleep and years of worry had caught up with him. He lay curled up on his side watching Hermione twirl happily until he drifted off to sleep.

………………

_Hermione was lying at Bellatrix's feet. She was barely stirring._

_And I think, said Bellatrixs voice, we can dispose of the Mudblood. Greyback, take her if you want her._

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Harry woke up gasping for breath, every inch of his body covered in icy sweat. He sat up and tried to catch his breath, running a shaky hand through his damp hair. Still breathing heavily, he reached over and lit the lamp beside his bed, flooding the room with comforting light. He hated these nightmares, they were always so real and it was like reliving the worst moments of his life over and over again. Lately most of his nightmares had focused on Hermione, and they were the worst ones of all. She had been through so much pain and he had nearly lost her so many times. Feeling tears sting his eyes, he tried to focus on something else. Looking at his watch he saw that it was just after 8 o'clock at night… he had slept most of the day. On the table beside his bed Harry noticed a plate with a pile of sandwiches and a bottle of Butterbeer that Kreacher must have left there while he was sleeping. Not really feeling hungry but wanting a distraction from his nightmare, he lifted one of his books off the floor and the plate of sandwiches and, sitting back on his bed, he started to eat.

………………

Over the next few days Harry and Kreacher worked flat out. Harry had made a list of spells from the books that he had found in the library and had successfully cast most of them on the old house. No one except Ron, Hermione and himself could directly Apparate or Floo into Grimmauld Place now. He had also taken a look at the wizard decorating book, and had found a few wallpaper stripping and painting spells that he was slowly getting the hang of. He had laughed to himself at the thought of what Uncle Vernon would have to say if he knew he could decorate with only a wand. Kreacher had also volunteered the information that he knew how to get rid of Mrs Black's portrait, after Harry had been so frustrated with not making any progress in getting rid of it himself, that he had lost his temper and threw the old trolls leg umbrella stand down the hall, accidentally hitting Kreacher on the head. Harry had decided this was something Hermione didn't need to know.

The top of Harry's to-do list today was to bury the House Elf heads in the small back garden. He had had a long chat with Kreacher about House Elf rights the night before at dinner, and was surprised when he actually managed to convince the old elf that burial was more dignified than being beheaded and mounted on a wall after death. He couldn't wait to tell Hermione. Later that day, after successfully managing to remove and bury the elf heads and then strip and paint the peeling walls in the hallway, Harry showered and changed and made his way downstairs to the fireplace in the kitchen. He was going to take a trip to Diagon Alley to a furniture shop he had seen there and buy some new furniture for his newly decorated rooms. Furniture that didn't contain serpents.

……………

Two hours later Harry fell out of the fireplace of number twelve once again, managing to steady himself before he hit the stone floor. Walking over to the kitchen table he set down the packages he was carrying and took off his invisibility cloak. He had been surprised when he had chosen and paid for his furniture and was told that it wouldn't be delivered to him. The sales assistant had handed him a neatly wrapped box and a piece of parchment containing a spell. Harry was given the instructions that he had to place the furniture in the correct room and then perform the spell and it would enlarge to normal size. Lifting the box out of the pile of packages on the kitchen table, he loosened the string and ripped open the brown paper and looked inside. He laughed when he saw that it contained what looked like dolls house furniture. All the furniture that he had chosen had been shrunk and placed in the small box ready for him to enlarge. Lifting the box and taking out his wand, he left the kitchen and visited the various rooms he had decorated so far, enlarging the furniture as he went.

The last room he came to was the Drawing Room, and his favourite. It reminded him of the Gryffindor common room and now that the new furniture had been added it felt warm and comfortable. Making his way over to the window seat, he sat down and surveyed his work. The walls were now warm shades of red and gold, there were two large squishy sofas with lots of soft throw pillows, heavy velvet curtains hung on the windows and the beautiful old chandelier that Kreacher had worked hard on cleaning hung in the middle of the ceiling. The room was lit only by the light of the fire and Harry felt, for the first time, that this house could possibly be starting to feel like home. All he needed now was someone to share it with. His thoughts turned to his two best friends, he had received a letter from Ron that morning informing him that Fred's funeral was to take place the following day. Every time Harry thought about it his stomach gave an unpleasant lurch. He had hoped that Hermione would have been back to go to the funeral with him but so far he hadn't heard anything from her and was starting to worry that she was finding it harder to locate her parents than she had hoped.

The thought of Hermione gave him a different feeling in his stomach, something between sickness and butterflies. He wondered where she was now, what she was doing, what she was thinking about. Was she thinking of him too? The few days that he had spent with her after the final battle his feelings for her had grown, feelings that probably were always there, but he hadn't allowed himself to feel them until now. In those few days he had felt at times that Hermione might return his feelings, but he couldn't be sure. He sighed and turned towards the window, pressing his forehead to the cool glass, looking out at the unkempt square outside number twelve, losing himself in thoughts of Hermione.

………………


	6. Chapter 6

**A BIG thank you to bentheslayer for the beta. Any mistakes left are mine.**

**Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.**

……………

**Chapter 6**

Harry stirred as he felt something heavy pressing on his chest. Something tickled his face, gasping in shock, he opened his eyes and found himself staring into a pair of amber eyes. Sitting bolt upright, a fluffy, ginger, squashed faced cat fell onto his lap and let out an annoyed meow. Harry reached for his glasses and, putting them on, Crookshanks came into focus.

"Crookshanks, you scared me," Harry said as he scratched behind the ginger cats ears.

"Where did you come from, eh?"

His tired brain suddenly clicked into gear and he realised that if Crookshanks was here, that meant Hermione was more than likely here too. He lifted the purring cat of his lap, threw back his blankets and ran down the stairs two at a time.

"Hermione, Hermione you there?" he shouted as he approached the kitchen still running.

He pushed open the door and saw Hermione standing by the fireplace still brushing soot from her clothes. She looked up and grinned at him as he ran up and nearly knocked her down as he threw his arms around her, hugging her tightly. He buried his face in her hair, clinging to her, not wanting to let go, his chest feeling like it was going to burst. He was so happy she was back and she seemed just as pleased to see him, if her hug was anything to go by. He reluctantly pulled out of the hug and smiled down at her.

"I take it you're pleased to see me then?" she asked, grinning at him.

"I've missed you," he said shyly, embarrassed by how fierce his hug had been.

"I've missed you too," she said, smiling softly at him. "Oh, and I bought you back a present," she turned and lifted something off the floor behind her.

She turned back round and presented Harry with a cage that contained a small grey owl that was fast asleep, it's head under it's wing. Looking at him nervously she said, "She's not a replacement for Hedwig, if that's what you're thinking, I found her lying injured and I've been looking after her. I thought you might like to keep her."

Harry felt a pain in his heart at the mention of Hedwig`s name and looked into the cage at the little sleeping owl. It looked so small and peaceful.

"You don't have to keep her if you don't want to," Hermione told him quietly.

"No, I… I'd like to keep her," he said, taking the cage over to the kitchen table. Setting it down, he opened the small door and reached inside, stroking the little owl`s soft feathers.

"I found her on my first night away, I was trying to find somewhere to pitch my tent for the night and she was laying on the ground under a tree. I performed a few healing spells on her and she seems to be doing really well now. I… I just thought she would be happy with you, that you could give her a good home," Hermione said, still sounding a bit unsure that she had done the right thing by giving Harry a new owl.

The little grey owl woke up and stared at Harry with her big yellow eyes before nipping playfully at his fingers, causing him to smile. "I love her, thank you," he said, standing up and pulling Hermione into another tight hug.

……………

Over the next few hours Harry showed Hermione around the newly decorated house. He hadn't finished decorating all the rooms, but he was pleased that she approved of the rooms he had worked on so far. She was also impressed that the house elf heads and Mrs Black's portrait were finally gone from the hallway. Harry had left out the fact that the only reason Mrs Black was gone was because he had accidentally hit Kreacher on the head. She was also more than pleased when Harry showed her that he had fixed up a bedroom on the top floor of the house for Kreacher. He had still been sleeping under the boiler in the cupboard off the kitchen when Harry had arrived at number twelve, but he now had his own room and a proper bed all to himself.

Harry left Hermione`s new bedroom until last. He had worked particularly hard on this room, wanting it to be perfect for her. He had decided a few days ago that he wanted her to have the room down the hallway from his, and not the room that she usually shared with Ginny when she had stayed at Grimmauld before. Hermione made her way into the room and stopped; he had decorated the room in soft shades of cream and light green, a four poster bed with cream coloured hangings sat grandly in the corner. A large bookcase with two shelves full of new books lined another wall. He had bought the books for her when he had gone to Diagon Alley, and had left the other shelves empty so that she could fill them herself. She stood taking it all in before making her way over to the fireplace and looking at the photographs that Harry had framed and put there. She then made her way over to the bookcase, lifting out a few books and fingering the covers before leaving them back and turning to face Harry, her eyes shining with tears.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" he asked, rushing across the room to her.

"You did all this for me?" she asked, her voice thick with tears.

"Yes… don't you like it?" Harry asked quietly.

"Harry I love it! I can't believe you did this for me," she said, stepping forward and hugging him, before drawing back and kissing him on the cheek.

He stood watching her go around the room again, lifting books and touching pillows, and was shocked when she made a very un-Hermione like noise, that sounded to Harry like one of Lavender Browns squeals, when she spotted the little bed for Crookshanks in the corner by the fire. Harry stood watching her, his hand on his cheek touching the spot where she had just kissed him, a warm feeling spreading through his body as he smiled to himself at her now obvious delight with the way he had decorated her room.

………………

After just about managing to stomach eating some lunch, Harry and Hermione made their way to their rooms to change for the funeral. Harry had gone from feeling elated at Hermione being back, to having that sick feeling in his stomach again at the thought of facing everyone at the funeral. Up until now the only people he had been around since the final battle were Hermione and Kreacher. He had seen Hagrid and Professor McGonagall but that was at an empty Hogwarts and not at a huge event like a Weasley funeral would be. What if everyone blamed him from Fred's death, for all the other deaths? Maybe he shouldn't go, maybe it would be better if he just stayed home out of the way, he thought to himself as he finished tying his shoelaces.

A knock at the door broke through his thoughts. He got up from the bed and made his way to the door and opened it to find Hermione standing there in a pretty black dress.

"You ready to go?" she asked, a hint of nervousness evident in her voice.

"Hermione maybe… maybe I shouldn't go," he said, looking down at the floor.

"Why not?" she asked, reaching out and taking hold of his hand.

"It's just… what if they all blame me… what if they start asking me about what happened with Voldermort. I killed someone, Hermione."

"You didn't kill anyone Harry, he wasn't a person, he wasn't human. You rid the world of an evil being who was killing for fun, breaking up families, torturing people and who killed your parents and had been trying to kill you your whole life. What you did wasn't wrong Harry and everyone knows that. People died, too many people, but you put an end to the cause of all those deaths."

Harry looked up into her concerned brown eyes as she stood holding his hand tightly.

"Okay, I'll go," he said, still sounding unsure. "Will you stay with me… the whole time we're there?" He sounded like a little boy asking to sleep in his parents bed after a nightmare.

"Of course I will," she said, smiling warmly at him and gently pulling him in the direction of the stairs.

………………


	7. Chapter 7

**A BIG thank you to bentheslayer for the beta. Any mistakes left are mine. Go check out his stories, he`s an AMAZING writer!**

**Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.**

**(This chapter wasn`t in the original version of this story and I have edited and added it in afterwards)**

....................

**Chapter 7**

After just about managing to stomach eating some lunch, Harry and Hermione made their way to their rooms to change for the funeral. Harry had gone from feeling elated at Hermione being back, to having that sick feeling in his stomach again at the thought of facing everyone at the funeral. Up until now the only people he had been around since the final battle were Hermione and Kreacher. He had seen Hagrid and Professor McGonagall but that was at an empty Hogwarts and not at a huge event like a Weasley funeral would be. What if everyone blamed him from Fred's death, for all the other deaths? Maybe he shouldn't go, maybe it would be better if he just stayed home out of the way, he thought to himself as he finished tying his shoelaces.

A knock at the door broke through his thoughts. He got up from the bed and made his way to the door and opened it to find Hermione standing there in a pretty black dress.

"You ready to go?" she asked, a hint of nervousness evident in her voice.

"Hermione maybe… maybe I shouldn't go," he said, looking down at the floor.

"Why not?" she asked, reaching out and taking hold of his hand.

"It's just… what if they all blame me… what if they start asking me about what happened with Voldermort. I killed someone, Hermione."

"You didn't kill anyone Harry, he wasn't a person, he wasn't human. You rid the world of an evil being who was killing for fun, breaking up families, torturing people and who killed your parents and had been trying to kill you your whole life. What you did wasn't wrong Harry and everyone knows that. People died, too many people, but you put an end to the cause of all those deaths."

Harry looked up into her concerned brown eyes as she stood holding his hand tightly.

"Okay, I'll go," he said, still sounding unsure. "Will you stay with me… the whole time we're there?" He sounded like a little boy asking to sleep in his parents bed after a nightmare.

"Of course I will," she said, smiling warmly at him and gently pulling him in the direction of the stairs.

………………

Harry fell out of the fireplace at the Burrow and just about managed to steady himself, coughing slightly. Hearing a giggle he looking up and saw an immaculate-looking Hermione grinning at him.

"What?" he said, a smile playing on his lips.

"You`re never going to get the hang of Flooing are you?"

"Probably not," he replied, brushing soot from his robes and grinning back at her.

"Harry!" Mrs Weasley shrieked as she rushed into the room and pulled him into a hug, before holding him at arm`s length and examining him. "Are you eating okay, you look a bit peaky?" she said, eyeing him critically.

"I`m fine Mrs Weasley, really. Hermione has been taking good care of me."

"I bet she has," Mrs Weasley muttered quietly as she turned to Hermione. "It`s nice to see you again dear," she said somewhat coldly, before quickly turning back to Harry. "Ron`s outside setting out more chairs for the… funeral," her voice broke, and she took a moment before she spoke again. "I`m sure he could use some help," she said, sniffing loudly. "Well lots to do," she said, wiping her eyes on the corner of her apron, before she turned and bustled out of the room as quickly as she came, leaving Harry and Hermione standing staring at the space she just vacated.

Harry felt the sick, tight, aching pain that made him feel like he couldn`t breathe gripping his heart again. It was his fault that Mrs Weasley was so upset, his fault that she had lost a child, that she had almost lost more than one. Maybe he should just go home. As he thought this a soft, warm hand gripped his, bringing him out of his daze.

"Harry it`s okay," Hermione said as she reached up with her other hand and lifted his chin so that his eyes met hers. "This is going to be tough, we knew that, but we`ll get through this together, okay?" she said squeezing his hand tightly.

"Together," Harry repeated as he felt the warmth of her smile and the tightness of her grip on his hand comfort him.

"Let`s go find Ron and make ourselves useful," she said, giving his hand a tug and leading him out of the living room towards the back door of the Burrow.

The Weasley`s back yard had been transformed as it had been for Bill and Fleur`s wedding, except there was no marquee this time. Harry felt the tight feeling in his chest returning as he took in the sight before him: chairs had been laid out in rows with an aisle running down the middle, and a small white flower had been placed on each seat. A large table sat at the front of the rows of chairs and it had been decorated with more white flowers tied up with black ribbons.

"Harry! Hermione!" Ron`s voice broke through his thoughts as he turned and saw the bright red hair of his best male friend sticking out over a pile of chairs that he was levitating in front of him. Putting the chairs down they were both greeted in an somewhat awkward one armed group hug, as Hermione still hadn`t let go of Harry`s hand.

"So how`ve you been mate?" Ron asked clapping Harry on the back as they pulled out of the hug.

"Well you know, alright, surviving. How about you?" Harry asked, taking in the redness of Ron`s eyes.

"I`m surviving too I guess."

"He got a bit upset earlier but a quick snuggle and a pickled gherkin soon perked you up again, didn`t it Ronald?"

Ron`s ears and cheeks turned a bright shade of red as everyone turned to see Luna Lovegood appearing from behind a tree carrying more of the little white flowers that had been sitting on the chairs.

"Luna it`s nice to see you," Hermione said, as Luna walked up to Ron and paused just long enough to put one of the flowers in his hair behind his ear, before making her way over and hugging Hermione and Harry.

Pulling out of the hug Harry caught sight of Ron, who had now taken the flower out of his hair and was twirling it between his fingers while watching Luna with a dreamy look on his face - a look that was normally to be found on Luna`s face, not Ron`s. Harry took in the scene before him somewhat bemused by his friend`s obvious affection for Luna.

Wondering if Hermione had noticed this too he looked down and saw she was wearing a similar expression on her face. Much to Harry`s surprise she didn`t look upset.

"So… umm... you going to give me a hand with these chairs mate?" Ron said, having come out of his trance and catching the looks on his friends faces.

"Of course," Harry replied, grinning, as he gave Hermione`s hand a squeeze before letting go and heading in the direction of the pile of chairs Ron had discarded earlier.

…………

Thirty minutes later all the chairs had been set out and Ron had gone and then reappeared a few minutes later carrying two cold Butterbeers. Heading over to where Harry now sat under the shade of an old Oak tree, deep in thought, Ron sat down heavily beside him and handed Harry one of the bottles.

"So Luna, huh?" Harry said taking a swig from the bottle.

"Umm yeah… I… she… I really like her mate. I know I`ve always questioned why you where so nice to her all the time, but I can see why now."

"She`s not so loony after all then?" Harry said smiling, as Ron grinned uncomfortably back at him.

"No, I`m learning to love her quirks."

"Love?" Harry asked, eyebrows raised.

Ron choked on a mouthful of Butterbeer as Harry broke into laughter. Ron scowled at him, his cheeks turning as red as his hair as he wiped the Butterbeer of his chin with the back of his hand.

"Talking of love, what about you and our Hermione? There seems to be a lot of hand holding going on with you two."

It was Harry`s turn this time to become flustered as he turned towards an uncomfortable looking Ron.

"Umm, we`re just friends Ron," Harry said, his cheeks flushing now.

"It`s okay you know Harry… if there is something going on," he said not meeting Harry`s eyes. "Me and Hermione were never meant to be together, we did nothing but fight and upset each other. She also did nothing but talk and worry about you the whole time we were together. I can see how wrong we were for each other now. I think I got carried away with that damn book."

"I`m glad I never read the copy you bought me," Harry said, taking another drink from his beer bottle.

"You never seem to have a problem with the ladies anyway Boy Who Lived," Ron said with a knowing smirk.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry replied rolling his eyes. "…always the wrong ladies though."

"Like my sister," Ron stated.

Harry turned to look at Ron, eyebrows raised questioningly.

"I always thought deep down that you two where wrong for each other. I know she`s my sister but she can be very shallow at times… she loved the fame and status of being the Boy Who Lived`s girlfriend and I saw her use it so many times to get what she wanted. I know she loves you in her own way mate, but it`s not in the right way. Mum and Ginny won`t agree but you`ve got to do whatever is right for you." Ron finished, not looking at Harry and picking at the label on the bottle in his hand.

"I… I know that, and it means a lot that you can see that too Ron. I`ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, when I was with Ginny, it was like I was under a spell and I couldn`t see clearly, but I can now. That`s also a big part of the reason that I broke up with her. Partly to keep her safe and partly because it was becoming obvious to me the more I was with her that she didn`t love me. Not in the way I wanted her to anyway." Harry finished with a sigh.

"Wow we`ve got deep today," Ron said laughing uncomfortably.

"I know, we`re turning into girls here, talking about our feelings," Harry answered with an equally uncomfortable laugh.

Ron took a long swig of his Butterbeer. "One last girly moment before we`re done mate… I`ve been thinking a lot about things, I know I haven`t always been the greatest friend or the most mature person or the smartest, but with Fred`s death and all the others it`s really opened my eyes to living in the here and now and going after what you want. If you want Hermione you should tell her, she`s been waiting a long time to hear it from you."

"What?!" Harry almost shouted. "I…"

"She`s loved you a long time Harry… she told me... she came to see me after she brought her parents home, before she went back to you… just tell her how you feel okay?" Ron finished, as he got up and dusted himself off before clapping an open mouthed Harry on the back and walking off towards the back door of the Burrow.

……………

Twenty minutes later Harry was still to be found sitting under the great Oak tree, deep in thought as the guests started to arrive for the funeral. Harry had been impressed and surprised at the maturity and wisdom that Ron had shown in their earlier conversation, and the more he thought about Ron`s words the more sense they made. Life was short, he knew that from his own parents premature deaths, and he had been given Ron`s blessing to move on and express his growing feelings for Hermione, feelings that according to him Hermione reciprocated. Harry sighed deeply and ran his fingers through his messy hair. This was all too much to take in and it certainly wasn`t the best day to deal with it. He had a funeral to get through and people to deal with and…

"Harry?" The anxious voice of his female best friend broke through his thoughts. "There you are, I was getting worried," she exclaimed, sounding relieved now, as she made her way over to Harry and held out her hand to him. Taking his own hand in hers she pulled him up from the ground. "It`s time."

…………

The funeral was a perfect tribute to Fred. The Weasleys all sat up front and had tried to get Harry to sit with them, when on the way to their seats Mrs Weasley had spotted him and Hermione about to sit down a few rows back. Harry had been very relieved when Hermione had firmly but kindly told Mrs Weasley that they were fine where they were. Harry had been grateful because not only had he felt like he didn`t have the right to sit up front with the family that were grieving because of him, but also because Hermione had found them seats that were still near the front, but a huge hydrangea bush from the garden obscured people`s direct view of him.

She had taken his hand again when they sat down, entwining her fingers with his. He could feel the slight tremble in her grip where their hands lay joined in his lap, that showed that she wasn`t as composed as she appeared to be. Luna had arrived then, making her way quickly to the front, dragging Ginny along behind her just before the service began. Ginny`s red rimmed eyes were scanning the crowd and Harry knew by the look on her face that it was him she was looking for, but thanks to Hermione he could see her but she couldn`t see him. Once Ginny had reluctantly sat down next to her mother, Luna made her way over and sat down in the empty chair beside Ron that he must have been saving for her.

The Weasleys sat supporting each other as witches and wizards got up and talked about their fond memories of pranks and jokes Fred had played on them in the past. The hardest part was when George got up to talk about his twin and couldn`t finish. But George, being George, wasn`t going to let everyone get too overemotional and he muttered something that Harry didn`t quite catch. Suddenly, every single white flower in the area let off a deafening bang and exploded into a mass of tiny multicoloured paper ears causing the crowd of gathered witches and wizards to gasp and then laugh as the ears rained down on them like snowflakes.

After the service Harry couldn`t wait to get away before people started to come talk to him. He had heard the couple of old bearded wizards behind him muttering his name and he caught Hermione`s eye and nodded in the direction of the forest a short distance away. She nodded back at him he pulled her to her feet. They moved quickly around the side of the hydrangea bush and Harry continued to pull Hermione along behind him as they escaped the crowd. He stopped as he reached the great Oak tree where he and Ron had sat earlier and pulled Hermione down to sit under the tree with him. They sat in silence, Hermione tracing soothing circles on the back of Harry`s hand with her finger tips. He loved how comfortable he was with her, how they didn`t need to fill the silences with words. She always knew what he needed. They sat listening to the voices of the nearby crowd getting further away.

Harry didn`t know how much time had passed but when he refocused his eyes he realised that it was starting to get a little dark. He was now laying flat out on the ground with his head in Hermione`s lap and she was running her fingers softly through his hair, her back leaning against the old tree. She too looked deep in thought. He had been thinking about everything that had happened in the past year, trying to get things straight again in his head. He had been doing an okay job up until now at getting on with things, but the funeral had brought everything screaming back to him.

He couldn`t think about this anymore, the pain in his chest tightened and he sat up suddenly making Hermione take in a sharp breath.

"Sorry I didn`t mean to startle you," he said as he leaned his back against the wide trunk of the tree and reached out to take Hermione`s hand.

"That`s okay," she smiled. "I was just thinking a little too deeply."

Harry looked down, letting out a shaky sigh.

She reached out with her free hand and touched his chin, turning his face to look at her, but his eyes still didn`t meet hers. "I know how hard this is for you Harry… to watch the people you love being buried… and… wishing you had died instead."

Harry looked up, meeting her eyes then, taking in the redness and the still unshed tears and the way she was biting her lip trying to keep those tears from spilling over. She understood, she knew how he was feeling, this shouldn`t shock him but it always blew him away how she always knew. She was always there being strong for him, supporting him. He had failed to save the lives of so many people and had even taken a life himself, how could she even bear to look at him.

As if reading his mind again she said, "You know Harry, you wouldn`t be you if didn`t feel this way, if you didn`t feel guilt that you… killed someone, even though Voldemort wasn`t even a person. But you have no reason to feel that guilt, you did it to save your friends and family and… yourself," she added quietly, her voice breaking. "If you hadn`t come back to me Harry I don`t know what I would have done," she sniffed, wiping at the tears that now spilled freely from her eyes with the back of her hand. Harry reached out and pulled her towards him, having fought back tears throughout the whole funeral service he let go too.

………………

It was dark now as they made their way back towards the Burrow. Most of the mourners seemed to have left but a few Weasley relatives still hung around the tables in the garden drinking fire whiskey and talking.

"There you are Harry dear!" Mrs Weasley said as she made her way down the steps from the back door of the house carrying a tray of glasses. "I thought you`d gone already.

Ginny`s been looking for you everywhere," she added glaring down to where his hand was still joined with Hermione`s.

"No, I…"

"Never mind dear," Mrs Wealsey said, cutting him off. "You`re here now and Ginny is just in the house. She`ll be so pleased you`re still here," she said with an edge to her voice, looking directly at Hermione.

Harry sighed as he watched Mrs Weasley disappear down the garden.

"Well I guess I better get this over with," Harry sighed as he started to make his way towards the door. "I can`t believe I managed to avoid her all day anyway," he said, his voice barely a whisper as they made their way up the steps into the house.

"Harry, I was thinking, while we`re here we could pick up all the things we had to leave behind when we went into hiding after the wedding."

"Good idea, I`m sure Ron`s sick of falling over all the things we left in his room."

The sound of feet running down wooden stairs and a familiar voice suddenly filled the quiet kitchen. Looking up Harry had just time to register a flash of red hurtling towards him before it stopped suddenly in front of him. "Harry! I knew I heard…."

Ginny now stood before them her mouth gaping open, staring at the space between Harry and Hermione. When Harry looked down to see what had struck the redhead dumb he saw that it was his hand in Hermione`s that was causing her distress.

Hermione, having just realised this too, abruptly pulled her hand out of his and folded her arms protectively in front of her chest.

"I… I`ll just go pack up our things," Hermione said quietly, and started to make her way towards the bottom of the stairs.

The movement seemed to snap Ginny out of her trance and she rounded on Hermione, gripping hold of her arm. Harry could see Ginny`s fingers digging into her skin as Hermione tried to pull her arm free.

"I knew it!!" she spat, raising her other arm towards Hermione. "I knew you couldn't keep your hands of my boyfriend, you little…"

Ginny didn`t get to finish as Harry ran across the room from the doorway and met Ginny`s eyes with such a fierce look that she let go of Hermione`s arm immediately and stumbled backwards. She steadied herself against the back of the sofa as Harry took Hermione`s arm in his hands, rubbing gently at the finger marks Ginny had left on her arm.

"I am not your boyfriend. You know that. We broke up a long time ago," Harry said in such a low dangerous voice that it made Ginny gasp. "There are two things you need to get into your head, firstly, I don`t belong to you and secondly, you are never to touch Hermione again."

Harry could feel Hermione tremble as he examined the red area and the little half moons on her skin where Ginny`s nails had dug into her arm. "Come on," he said, his voice gentle but firm now. "We`ll pack up our stuff and get out of here."

The sound of Ginny bursting into tears filled the air as he steered Hermione gently towards the stairs.

Once inside Ron`s bright orange bedroom Harry closed the door and took a deep breath to steady himself.

"Harry, are you okay?" Hermione asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"Yeah," he said sliding down the inside of the door to the floor and drawing his legs up and buried his head in his knees. He felt a warm soft hand run through his hair soothingly. He looked up to find Hermione`s face inches from his own.

He smiled at the concern he saw in her eyes. "I`m sorry Hermione."

"Why are you sorry? You`ve nothing to be sorry for."

"But she hurt you," he said, reaching once again for her arm.

"I`m fine Harry, really. Ginny is just upset about her brother… and about losing you too," she finished quietly.

"She lost me a long time ago… I`m not sure she ever really had me and there`s no excuse for her hurting you," he said, the words catching in his throat.

"Let's just get our things and get out of here okay?" Hermione said, smiling softly. "I want to go home."

Harry felt a warmth flow through him at her use of the word home. He smiled back at her as they got up from the floor and went about filling their trunks.

……………

A few hours later Hermione and Harry arrived back in the kitchen of number twelve, each holding onto a trunk. Leaving the trunks in the hall they made their way to the newly decorated drawing room. Hermione flopped down heavily onto one of the sofas as Harry made his way to the fireplace and threw another log onto the fire before sitting down beside her and letting out a loud sigh. They sat not talking in silence for a few minutes, each lost in thought before Harry broke the silence.

"Do you ever wish…"

"No, never," Hermione said interrupting him at once.

"You don't even know what I was going to say," he said, turning to look at her with a bemused look on his face.

"Of course I do. You were going to ask me if I ever wished that I could go back, back before I knew this world even existed."

"Know it all," he said, grinning tiredly at her as she grinned back at him.

"I don't wish I could go back either," he said, turning serious again. "But my life before this wasn't that great, yours was…"

"I had a nice home, a quiet life and a loving family, but I still wouldn't trade it for what I have now," she said sincerely.

Harry smiled and reached out taking her hand in his. Resting his head on the back of the sofa he watched the flames dance in the fire as she started to rub soothing circles on the back of his hand.

"It's been a tough day for everyone," Hermione said, moving her head to rest on Harry's shoulder.

"It went well though, the funeral I mean. I thought it was a fitting tribute to Fred… and everyone handled it well," he added, tightening his grip on her hand.

"Yes, Mrs Weasley handled it a lot better than I expected and… Luna is so good with Ron too. They seemed pretty close, I think she might be the woman to make our Ron finally mature and settle down you know."

"Pity his sister wouldn't do the same thing," Harry said, a hint of anger in his voice. "I can't believe the way she was acting."

"She's had a lot to deal with," Hermione said quietly.

"That's no excuse; I'm not her boyfriend anymore. I haven't been for a long time and she knows that. She shouldn't have spoken to you the way she did."

"She still thinks of you as hers Harry and seeing us holding hands just tipped her over the edge today," she said, looking down to where their hands were still joined.

"I needed you today Hermione and you were there for me, that's something she will never understand. I'm just sorry that you had to deal with her." He moved his head to rest on top of hers.

"It's okay really," she said, letting go of his hand and wrapping an arm around his waist, snuggling close to him as they both sat taking comfort in each others warmth.

………………

**A/N - I want to say a big thank you to the few people who are taking the time to review my story. I REALLY appreciate the reviews, they mean a lot to me.**

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	8. Chapter 8

**A BIG thank you to bentheslayer for the beta. Any mistakes left are mine.**

**Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JK Rowling. I'm just borrowing them.**

……………

**Author's Note:**

- This is the last chapter of my story. It originally started out as a one shot and turned into the longest one shot ever, so I broke it up into chapters.

- I may write a few one shots of missing scenes from it in the future.

- The quote at the end of the story belongs to M. Scott Peck.

- A BIG thank you to everyone who reviewed! This is the first story I have ever written and I was so scared to post it because I wasn't sure it was any good. I'm usually more of a drawer than a writer.

....................

**Chapter 8**

_STOP OR SHE DIES!_

_Bellatrix was supporting Hermione, who seemed to be unconscious, and was holding her short silver knife to Hermione`s throat._

_Drop your wands, she whispered. Drop them, or we'll see exactly how filthy her blood is!_

_I said drop them! she screeched, pressing the blade into Hermiones throat: Harry saw beads of blood appear there…_

"Harry! Harry wake up!"

Harry opened his eyes to find two tear-filled brown eyes inches from his own. He sat bolt upright, nearly knocking heads with Hermione as she pulled him into a fierce hug.

"It's okay Harry, it was just a nightmare, it's okay," she whispered soothingly, rubbing his back as he rested his head on her shoulder. "Shh, it's okay, you're safe… just relax," she continued to whisper as his breathing slowly started to return to normal.

"I hate these dreams," he said, still holding onto Hermione as if she was his lifeline. "They're so real."

"I know," Hermione said as she began to stroke his damp hair. "I have dreams like that too."

"You do?" he asked, pulling back suddenly in surprise and looking at her.

"Yeah I do, but I'm getting fewer of them now… now that I know you're safe."

"Your nightmares are about me?" he was shocked that her nightmarescentred around him. He hadn't even considered the possibility that Hermione was having them too. "My nightmares lately are nearly always about you too."

"There's no need to worry about me Harry, I'm okay," she said, giving him a watery smile.

"Of course I worry... you always worry about me," he said softly.

"Likely I always will worry about you," Hermione replied, reaching out and moving a stray bit of hair off his forehead. "That's what friends are for."

"You're more than just a friend to me," Harry said quietly. His heart clenched and a lump formed in his throat as he realised what he had said.

Hermione sat looking at him open mouthed, looking like she wasn't quite sure if she'd heard him right. Gathering together all the Gryffindor courage he possessed he took her hand in his, pulled her up from the bed and lead her over to his wardrobe.

"Where… where are we going?" she asked, her voice sounding strained.

He let go of her hand and pulled two sets of robes out of the wardrobe and handed one to her.

"You'll see," he said giving her a nervous smile, his legs feeling so wobbly that he wasn't sure how they were supporting him. "Put that on."

Putting on his own robe, he made his way back over to his bed and lifted two blankets and his wand, before making his way back to Hermione and taking her hand again, linking his fingers with hers. He led her out of the room and down the dark hallway and up the stairs, feeling her eyes on him the whole time. When they reached the top floor Harry felt Hermione`s grip tighten. Giving her hand a reassuring squeeze, he led her into one of the bedrooms at the bottom of the hallway. The room was dark with peeling walls and smelt of damp; moth-eaten velvet curtains hung on the filthy windows. As they walked across the room thick dust rose from the old floorboards. They made their way over to a door in the corner that looked like it used to have glass panels in it but had been fixed very badly with small pieces of wood nailed roughly onto the frame.

Harry opened the door and led Hermione through it, out onto a roof garden. He heard her gasp as he led her over to a blanket that lay on the ground beside a tree that was covered in fairy lights. Sitting down and taking Hermione with him, he was pleased to feel that the cushioning charm he had placed on the blanket earlier was still working. Turning towards Hermione, he smiled when he saw her looking around the garden with a look of awe on her face.

"I take it you like my garden," he said, letting go of her hand and throwing the blankets he had brought with him over their legs.

"It's beautiful," she said, looking around at the plants and trees and little fairy lights that lit up the garden in the moonlight. The smell of lavender hung in the air from the bushes beside where the blanket lay. "Did you do all this?"

" I was looking for a bedroom for Kreacher I came across the room and thought the door was just a cupboard until I opened it. Bit of a shock, the Blacks keeping a garden. I'd never been to this floor of the house when we stayed here before. It was a bit of a mess but I've been working on it since I found it," he said, moving so that he was now lying on his back looking up at the starry sky.

"It's so pretty," she said, lying down beside him.

"I've been coming out here every night to look at the stars," Harry said, reaching over to take her hand again.

"It's so peaceful." She moved closer to him and pulled the blankets further up around them with her free hand.

They lay in silence for a little while looking at the stars before Harry spoke.

"Hermione… about what I said earlier… about you being… being more than just a friend to me," he said nervously. "I do like you… as more than a friend," He didn't dare look at her.

"Do you really mean that?" she asked, in a voice no louder than a whisper.

"I do… but I'm scared."

Chancing a look at her he found her staring at him, her eyes wide and full of what looked to Harry like fear.

"Would you be less scared if I told you that I… I feel the same way about you?" she asked, the last few words coming out all in a rush.

"It would," he said, letting out the breath he hadn't even realised he'd been holding. "I think I've been feeling this way for longer than I realised," He propped his head up on his shaky hand and looked down at her.

Letting go of his other hand she reached up and tentatively moved a few strands of hair off his forehead. He closed his eyes at her touch, before opening them again and bringing his own hand down and sliding it into her soft chestnut curls. She sighed contently.

"Hermione do you think… that we could give this a try? I've been thinking about it a lot and I can't live the rest of my life wondering what might have been. If you don't want to I'll understand… but I need you in my life either way. I don't want to ruin what we have… I love what we have, and if all you can give me is friendship I'll understand… but I needed to tell you… to take a chance," he said, swallowing hard due to the huge lump that had formed in his throat.

"I want to try this," she said smiling softly up at him, her cheeks flushed. "I've been waiting, hoping, that you'd see me this way someday. I've liked you for a long time Harry."

A feeling of relief washed over him, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. She did feel the same way about him. Gathering together what was left of his Gryffindor courage, he looked down into her pretty brown eyes as he felt himself drifting closer to her, unable to stop himself, until finally he touched his lips tentatively to hers. Her arms drew up around his neck as she pressed her mouth against his in return. Through the ringing in his ears he heard a soft sigh escape her. Drawing back a little, his heart in his throat, his lips tingling, he opened his eyes and studied the dreamy expression on her freckled face.

"What was that?" she asked, her eyes still closed.

"I think I just kissed you," Harry said, a lop-sided grin forming on his face.

"I think I just kissed you back," she said, opening her eyes, looking dazed, grinning now too. "And I was right."

"Right about what?"

"In fifth year when I said you weren't a bad kisser," she said as her eyes flickered down to his lips again.

"Know it all," he said playfully, reaching down and brushing a curl away from her face. Green eyes met brown once more as they held each other's gaze, before he leaned down and kissed her again.

……………

"_The truth is that our finest moments are more likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."_

……………

The End.


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